


Poisoned

by FuckYeahChilton



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Couch Cuddles, Developing Relationship, Domestic, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Rating May Change, Romance, Slash, Slow Build, chillywilly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-08 12:47:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1941687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FuckYeahChilton/pseuds/FuckYeahChilton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>May I use your shower please? - Will Graham decides to hide his former Psychiatrist at his home. Soon he finds out, that Frederick Chilton isn´t that bad and they start having a relationship before they even know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A pain in the ass

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone~
> 
> I am working on this story for a few weeks now, 11 chapters already written and published in german and I finally managed to translate the first chapter.  
> I hope I didn´t mess it up too bad.. It is the first story I decided to publish in english, ever. (so I am really nervous!)
> 
> This is for all ChillyWilly lovers who can´t get enough of Frederick hiding at Will´s home! =D

 

***

  


  
_“There's nothing like grief and trauma to pull people together."_ -Frederick Chilton

 

***

 

Will was leaning against the wall in his living room, staring at the display of his mobile, while the dull sound of water running in the bathroom disturbed his ability to concentrate.  
He wasn´t used to the sound of someone else using his shower.  
Usually it was only him and his dogs and no one else in his house.  
He didn´t even find the time to realize his regained freedom yet, everything still felt surreal.  
His living room, his dog family, the sound of the shower, nothing felt real.  
He already picked out Jack´s number from his address book and his thumb was hovering over the green button.  
He had to make a decision, preferably the right one.  
Obviously Hannibal succeeded in framing Dr. Chilton to be the Chesapeake Ripper.  
Will wasn´t able to stop the sarcastic smile from appearing on his lips.  
It was more than ridiculous to believe that a Dr. Chilton could be capable of all the things Hannibal did.  
Not even Jack would be that stupid.  
He would bring Chilton to a safe place, pretending they caught the Ripper of course; so that Hannibal would feel safe to go on until he finally made a mistake.

The Baltimore State Hospital was a safe place, right?

It would be quite nice to see his former psychiatrist behind bars for a while.  
Talking to him while he was sitting in a cage like an animal could be fun, Will thought without feeling guilty.  
He pushed the button and listened to the dial tone, but a desperate cry from the bathroom made him stop the call.  
He slowly walked to the bathroom with a mixture of concern and curiosity.  
The door was not completely closed so Will pushed it a little bit more open just to check if everything was alright.  
The room was filled with hot steam and he wasn´t able to localize the doctor through the semitransparent shower door at first.  
His unwelcome guest crouched motionless at the floor and Will could hear him cry softly through the lapping sound of water.  
He closed the door again and let out a sigh.  
There was no feeling he could understand better than how it feels being framed by Hannibal Lecter.  
No way could he not empathize with the man, crying in his bathroom.

He went back to the living room, finding Chilton´s car keys on the table.  
Will was not completely untouched by the fact with how much trust the doctor came to his house.  
The Profiler put his mobile phone on the table and took the keys, still not sure how to handle this situation.  
Whatever he decided to do with Dr. Chilton, running was definitely the wrong decision.  
So for the moment he just sat down in a chair and waited for the man to return.

It took about 20 minutes until the sound of water finally stopped and was replaced by the sound of the hairdryer a few moments later.  
Frederick Chilton really took his time, considering that he was on the run from the FBI.  
His former psychiatrist was in fact a ridiculous person, Will thought.  
15 Minutes later that person finally appeared in the living room and started packing his stuff frantically.

“I have to leave the country, I…”, Dr. Chilton took a deep dramatic breath, “Am leaving the country.”  
“The FBI is already after you. Running will make you look guilty.”, Will replied calmly, his eyes following Chilton´s movements.  
“Oh, you didn´t run and you looked plenty guilty. Abel Gideon was half eaten in my guest room, I have corpses on my property. You just threw up an ear!” Chilton spitted, while he put on his coat aggressively.  
“The FBI thinks I killed two Agents, -three Agents. You know what that means? Shoot on sight.”  
“I will prove Hannibal Lecter is the Chesapeake Ripper.”, Will said, still relaxed.  
“And I know you will.”, Chilton said without any doubt in his voice.  
The Profiler looked up with a surprised expression.  
Not even Will himself had that much trust in his possible ability to catch Hannibal.  
“Then when you do, I will read about it from a secure location..” Chilton stopped talking when he noticed, his car keys were gone and instead Will´s mobile phone was lying on the table.  
He put the pieces together and started panicking.  
“No.. you didn´t..”, he stuttered with a broken voice.  
“Just relax, put your jacket off and..”, Will tried to calm the other man but he was interrupted.  
“No. NO!”, Chilton said with the most possible confidence and pulled the gun Hannibal had left in his hand when he woke up.  
He was sure Will had called Jack Crawford already and he must arrive very soon.  
“Give me the keys.”, he threatened and tried to manage a dangerous expression, but Will only smiled pitifully at the other man, as he saw his shaky hand and how helpless he looked while he tried to stop Will from getting up.  
“You´re not a killer, Frederick.”, he mocked and stepped forward to take the gun from Chilton.  
The pretended confidence on his face fell apart and sheer despair was all that’s left.

Out of this despair he didn´t know anything else to do than stumbling backwards, turning around to escape from the house as fast as possible.  
It seems like he even forgot that not long ago his physical condition had left him in need of a cane to walk properly.  
Clueless what to do with the panicking Doctor, Will rubbed his forehead and walked to the front door, watching his former Psychiatrist working his way through the deep snow.  
Chilton was rather small so he sure had problems to move on fast.  
He reminded Will of a caught spider, trying to escape from a glass, when he crawled up the small hill, finally vanishing between the trees.

Suddenly, the thundering sound of a gunshot burst through the silence and all the way through Wills skin and bones.  
He just started running, without thinking twice, ignoring the barking dogs from inside the house.  
Much faster than Chilton did, he reached the point where he had lost sight of the Doctor and looked down the small but steep slope.  
For sure Chilton wasn´t aware of it and Will found him crouched at the ground, still with a tight grip around the gun, but he wasn´t moving.  
“Frederick!”, Will shouted breathlessly and hurried the way down, relieved to find the other man conscious.  
Chilton was covered in melting snow, breathing hard, when Will rolled him over.  
“Please..”, he pleaded, trying to catch his breath. “Please don´t hand me over..”  
Will noticed that there was blood, sticking out brightly in the snow.  
The Profiler assumed that the shot went off accidentally when Chilton fell.  
“Just.. give me the gun first. Just to make sure you don´t eventually kill yourself.”, Will said softly.  
He managed to take the gun from Chilton and made sure it was safe before he put it in his own pocket.  
“Please.. Will?”, the Doctor whimpered.  
Will looked down at the poor creature that once had been a man filled with pride and tried to encourage him with a little smile.  
“Calm down, I hanen't called Jack, yet.”  
“Yet?”, the Doctor's voice was a few octaves higher than usual.  
“You hurt yourself. I´ll help you to get up, okay?” Wills voice was still calm and it helped Chilton to calm down a little as well.  
He nodded weakly and let the other man help him to stand up.  
They slowly fought their way back to the house, where Chilton was placed on the couch.  
“You sure are a pain in the ass..”, Will mumbled, more to himself, while he helped the Doctor to get rid of his coat.  
“So are you.”, Frederick hissed back, not able to let go of his condescending attitude, even if he was trembling from the cold.

Without asking, Will unzipped Chilton´s navy blue sweater, to localize where his _guest_ was injured.  
Blood was soaking through his shirt and Will was about to carefully shove the fabric out of the way, when Chilton hastily grabbed his clothes to keep them in place and Will from exposing his stomach.  
Will glanced up, looking directly into the big blue-greenish eyes belonging to the man he was used to dislike so much, now staring back helplessly and filled with fear.  
“We have to check the wound. You’re bleeding.”, he said, his voice low and Chilton swallowed hard.  
“Well. I don´t need you to do that. I happened to be a surgeon in the past.”, the Doctor snapped and a small, wry smile appeared on Wills lips.  
“A bad one, as I was told.”, he replied and Chilton rolled his eyes before he gave up reluctantly and let go of his clothes.  
He looked away while Will was shoving up the fabric, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of someone else seeing the leftovers of what Abel Gideon had done to him.  
He wished it wouldn´t, but the ugly scar caught Will’s attention, a thin line of pink, thick skin starting right above the Doctor’s belly button, not visible yet where it ended.  
It reminded Will that Dr. Chilton had to pay for far more already than he could possibly deserve.  
He was traumatized, scared to death, and Will was the only person who would believe what was done to him.

He continued without commenting on the scar, until he finally exposed the wound.  
The skin at his waist was cracked open about five centimeters in length, only slightly bleeding.  
“Seems like it´s just a graze shot. You've survived worse.”, Will said, trying to sound optimistic.  
He gently squeezed Frederick's shoulder and stood up.  
“I get the first aid box.”

While Will was gone, Frederick tried to fight back tears.  
He didn´t want to show weakness.  
Never again he wanted to show someone that he was vulnerable, but he was so exhausted.  
His whole body was aching, from the cold, the fresh wound, the moment when he toppled over the traveling bags in his foyer, hitting the ground hard, intoxicated by Hannibal after that and then the whole getaway.  
Adrenaline had helped him to get through to this point but now, finally coming to rest, he realized how much everything hurt.  
Will came back after a short while, carrying several things, -a blanket, a bottle of some clear, hard liquor, the first aid box, cloths and a glass.

“I think it’s for the best when I call Jack. He will find a place to keep you safe until everything is done.”, he said, while trying to manage what to put where, without letting all things fall down at once.  
“Jack Crawford will believe that I am the Chesapeake Ripper.”, Frederick replied, his voice broken.  
Will shook his head.  
“Just a complete fool would believe that you did that. Jack is almost fully convinced that Hannibal is the Ripper. He won´t let himself be tricked that easy, -not again.”  
“Will..”, Frederick started sadly and let out a soft sigh before he continued speaking.

“They all refuse to believe that Hannibal Lecter is a serial killer who serves his gourmet victims at his prestigious dinner parties. Everyone is blinded by his charm. What do you think his friends prefer to believe? That he is the killer they are looking for? It is so much easier to believe that it was me. I am nobody’s friend. I perfectly fit the profile. They will embrace the counterevidence gratefully just to proof themselves that they were right about holy Hannibal all the time. Let’s be honest, Will, nobody is looking up to me. I am not that respected. I don´t have those cheekbones..”  
His last sentence was a poor attempt to alleviate the shattering truth with a sarcastic joke, but it didn´t work so well and he dashed away the single tear he was no longer able to hold back.  
Will listened to his words intently, his eyes filled with sorrow.  
He dropped his gaze and nodded.  
Frederick was right. At least it was more than likely that that was what was going to happen.  
“I was their friend and nobody believed me.”, he whispered and filled the glass with liquor to hand it over to what was left of his former Psychiatrist.

“I believed you.”, Frederick replied and accepted the offer with a grateful nod.

“Well, the chance to publish something promising to help your career helped you to open your eyes. , Will mentioned incidentally and Chilton shrugged his shoulders with no sight of guilt.  
That was the moment when Will remembered why he disliked that man so much and it slightly pleased him when Chilton cried out in pain, while he was pouring down some of the burning alcohol over the ripped skin.

“Pull yourself together.”, he said as he cleaned the wound and then looked for a huge patch to cover.  
He hoped that would be enough to keep it from becoming infected.  
“You should lie down and rest a little. And get out of the wet clothes, here. Take his.”  
Will handed the blanket over to Frederick.  
“I will hide your car in the shed. No one ever goes there, except me.”  
Chilton glanced up.  
“You are not going to call the FBI?”, he asked with a shade of hope in his voice and Will shook his head.  
“Fleeing will only put you into danger and your arguments were quite convincing. You hiding at my place is so obvious and absurd at the same time, it could work.”, he explained his decision while putting on his coat.

“Will!” Frederick called him back, as he was about to leave the room and he turned around, looking at him inquiringly.  
“Why? You couldn´t care less..”  
Will stared into the room thoughtfully, then shrugged his shoulders and replied dryly:

“Whatever your motives might have been, you were willing to believe me and you gave me the chance to prove it. All I can give you is a chance to remain unharmed. It’s a chance, no guarantee.”

 

 

***


	2. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got kudos!! that made me so happy that I hurried to translate chapter 2. It is still really hard for me but I hope it will get easier and if there are a few people here who are intersted in the story, I will try my best to at least update once a week. =)

 

***

 

  
_"I would like to remain not dead, for the foreseeable future"_ \- Frederick Chilton

 

***

 

 

 

A chance, no guarantee, -those were the words Chilton have been left alone with for the moment.  
He was staring into the room apathetically, slowly realizing that there was no safe place for him.  
Not until Hannibal Lecter was behind bars and even then..

  
Matthew Brown had shown him that a patient behind bars just needed a little birdy to cause big trouble.  
He didn´t want to start thinking about Gideon, who also meant to be safe in his hospital and now he was dead.  
Frederick started to feel sick while remembering the last image of his former patient.  
He could barely stand the pictures in his own head.

It was a wet nose, nudging gently against his hand that brought him back to reality and away from his horrible memories, at least for the moment.  
“What do you want?”, he asked slightly distressed, giving the brown checked dog an exhausted look.  
The dog whined and licked over the back of his hand.  
Chilton made a disgusted noise and pulled his hand away, but the dog’s endearing look made him eventually pet his head, -gently but cautiously.  
How was Will Graham able to stand such a huge amount of dogs in his house, Frederick wondered and stood up slowly to finally get rid of the soaked clothes.  
He pulled a chair in front of the fireplace and stripped down to his black t-shirt and matching underpants and arranged his sweater and dress pants on the chair.  
Chilton didn´t care if they were ripped and bloody, he had no other clothes left.  
Luckily at least his trousers had stayed undamaged.

Frederick heard the sound of the front door slamming quietly and some dogs darted to the entrance.  
Will didn´t come back to him immediately, it seemed like he was looking for something.  
He went upstairs and after a while finally appeared in the living room, with a huge plastic bag in his hands.  
Will looked at Frederick but didn´t pay much attention to the fact that the other man was standing in his living room, just in his underwear.  
He walked by, straight to the fireplace and started packing the clothes into the bag.

“Excuse me? They are supposed to dry there.”, Frederick said with a puzzled expression, but Will shook his head.  
“All of this has to go. If you want to stay, you have to follow my rules, got it?”, he said and turned around to take a closer look at Chilton this time, raising an eyebrow.  
There was in fact not much left to remind him of the Dr. Chilton he was used to, he thought.  
“That too.”, he pointed at the clothes Frederick was still wearing.  
The Doctor blinked twice, slightly irritated.  
“That seems quite inadequate? I think I have been degraded enough for one day.”, Chilton stammered, mixed with a nervous laughter.  
The corners of his mouth dropped immediately after he finished the sentence and he took a mistrustful step backwards.  
He had no idea what kind of rules Will Graham was talking about, but just in case that the man fantasized about having a naked servant, now trying to make his dreams come true, Frederick Chilton prepared himself to flee once more.  
Will rubbed his face, letting out a fretful sigh and threw the fresh clothes on the couch, which had been clamped under his arm the whole time.  
Chilton squinted at the couch, finding a white t-shirt, fresh boxer shorts and a pair of washed out sweatpants.  
Feeling embarrassed, he cleared his throat and looked back to Will.  
“I am comfortable with my own clothes.”, he said arrogantly and Will pressed his lips together, swallowing down the rising anger.

He took a deep breath.  
“Frederick, how do you like my aftershave?”, he asked with a forced smile and Frederick looked confused again.  
“How should I know?”, he hissed back, annoyed by the fact that he wasn´t able to figure out why Will asked him stupid questions instead of telling him what was going on.  
Will took a few steps forward, closer to the Psychiatrist. “Can you smell it?”  
Frederick, still reserved, sniffed and shook his head.  
This time it was the Doctor moving closer to Will, out of pure curiosity, until he was only a few inches away from the other man’s face, finally able to breathe in the scent of Will´s aftershave.  
“Not that bad. Mild.”, Frederick said and hurried to back to a safe, comfortable distance.  
He was far from admitting, that his former patient smelled better than he had expected.

Will nodded and walked slowly to the other end of the living room.  
“Dr. Lecter can smell my aftershave from at least a distance like this.”, he said, as he turned around, wandering back to the middle of the room, while he kept talking.  
“In his opinion it is strong and unpleasant. He can smell me when I am in the same room, even if he doesn´t know that I am. Do you understand now, Frederick? If Hannibal senses a different scent on me or in this house, -and believe me, he will know it is you- he just needs to put the pieces together and you know what’s going to happen then, right.”

“Luckily, I used your shampoo.”, Frederick said and swallowed hard.  
“So Lecter has a mutant nose, certainly I should have known. And I assumed you just wanted to see me naked, by all means.”, he added sarcastically, the corners of his mouth twitching.  
Will let out an amused snort.  
“By all means. Change your clothes, I'll go and prepare the guestroom.”

Frederick watched him go and took a deep, tremulous breath.  
His pulse rate started rising while he thought about what kind of a monster Hannibal Lecter actually was.  
The man who had invited him for dinner so often, the endless conversations they had shared about unethical treatments.  
The man who had suddenly appeared in his home like he came directly from a horror movie, wearing this stupid plastic suit, ..waiting, -just to frame him for all his horrifying crimes.  
A wave of panic rushed through his veins, making him rip off his clothes within seconds.  
He changed into the clothes Will gave him and put everything else in the plastic bag which he threw into the corner of the room as if it has burned his hands.  
Exhausted, he let himself fall back on the couch and grabbed the blanket, but then he noticed that it was covered with dog hair.  
He gave it a sniff, put it back and wrapped his arms around his aching body instead, while he was looking around.  
Will’s house was the complete opposite of his own and he was far from feeling comfortable here.  
The only thing that made him feel secure at least a little, was the fire in the fireplace, -warm, crackling softly.  
But after all he was glad that he didn´t have to be alone now.

Will returned with a second glass in his hand and joined Frederick on the couch.  
He filled both glasses, took a big swig and leaned back, looking exhausted.  
“What happened?”, he asked the Doctor and smiled happily surprised as Winston jumped between them, curling up with his head on Will’s lap and his tail wagging against Frederick’s leg.  
The Psychiatrist wasn´t sharing Will’s happiness that much but he didn´t even care anymore.  
He took a sip from his glass before he started talking, his voice tired, while Will was ruffling the dog’s soft fur.

“I came home and there was Gideon. Or what was left of him. He died when I found him, my guest room looked like a slaughter house. I just wanted to get out of there; the FBI was already at the front door, when Hannibal appeared in front of me, wearing this terrible plastic suit. I thought that’s it. He’s going to kill me now.”, Frederick paused, starring absently into the room.  
“The second time I had the pleasure to experience the fear of death.”  
“The second time you survived.”, Will replied quietly.  
“Hannibal wasn’t going to kill me,…not yet. He intoxicated me and said when I wake up, the only choice I will have is to run.”  
Frederick took a deep breath and wanted to continue, but he closed his mouth again and remained silent.  
Will looked at his former Psychiatrist for a moment.  
Everything that had happened to the man who once was a rather pretentious but confident man, had marked him visibly. If he wasn´t eventually broken already.  
Will would have given everything, if there had been just one person who had believed _him_ from the beginning.  
But when Hannibal was done with him, they all looked at him as if they just met for the first time.  
As if they had never been friends before. They looked at a killer.  
He could save Chilton from that.

Will didn´t even blame the Doctor for what he had said in court. That Will was a psychopath, knowing very well what he was doing all the time.  
It was simply what he believed.  
They had never been friends and Chilton had no reason for doing him a favor or the opposite.  
It was different with Beverly.  
She was his friend and came to him for selfish reasons in the first place.  
She needed advice from an expert and Will wasn´t sure if she went looking for evidence because Will planted doubt in her, or because she wanted to prove that there is no need for doubt.  
He would never know.

Dr. Chilton was different.  
He acted depending on his own conviction, whether it was bullshit or not, but he didn´t let his kind of a friendship with Hannibal blur his sense.  
He was willing to listen to what Will had to say and to overthink the situation rationally, even if that would have meant that he was wrong, -again.  
Will was aware of the fact that Chilton was in danger, like Beverly, when he pulled the man on his side.  
When he asked him to cancel Hannibal’s appointments and made him his one and only psychiatrist.

He made a tool out of him and didn´t care how it could have ended for the Doctor.  
He was as well just a unique object with a rare mind for Chilton to explore, -a wonderful trophy in his collection of psychopaths.  
But in the end he was the only one who fought for him, when no one else was left.  
Will wasn´t in a position where he felt like judging people for making immoral choices or using people to reach a personal goal, no matter if it was right or wrong.  
He wasn´t able to save Beverly, but now he had the chance to save someone from the outcome of playing with Hannibal Lecter, or at least from making the situation worse.

“Frederick, please promise me that you won´t do anything stupid. Don´t try to get away from here over night or something. I really think this might be the least dangerous place for you to be, if we are careful.”  
Chilton turned his head to Will and nodded with a helpless expression.

“I promise.”

Later at night Chilton was lying on his fresh made bed in Will’s guest room and though he was too exhausted to even move, he wasn´t able to sleep.  
The bed was creaking at the slightest move, the room was rather empty and reminded Frederick more of a prison cell.  
Besides Will forbid him to switch on the light or open the window and Frederick was used to sleep with fresh air.  
He even tried to close his eyes and imagine he was in his own double bed with the perfect mattress, -not too hard, not too soft,- snuggled into his comfortable luxurious silky sheets, but it didn´t work.  
Everything smelled like Will Graham and his sheet cover was scratchy.  
He heard the other man through the wall, rolling around in his bed restlessly and every strange sound from the nearby forest made him flinch, until he finally lost his nerves and kicked the sheets away.  
He tortured himself out of the bed and toddled into the corridor, where he leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down to the ground, hugging his legs tightly.  
He didn´t know exactly what he was doing here, but at least he was able to breathe freely.  
Maybe he secretly hoped to find one of the dogs to make him feel less lonely, but he was surrounded by nothing but darkness and he couldn´t even walk through the house, just in case someone was hiding outside.

Frederick was sitting there for about one hour when suddenly the door of Will’s bedroom flew open and the light went on.  
Will looked like ghost when he tumbled through the corridor, his clothes soaked in sweat and without noticing Chilton.  
Winston followed his master but stopped, when he saw the stranger on the floor.  
He barked once, quietly, but his new housemate didn´t react, so he curled up by his side with a soft whimper.  
It took a while until Will returned, the look on his face still slightly disoriented, his brown curls clinging wet to his forehead.  
Now he finally noticed Chilton, sitting on the ground motionless and with Winston by his side.

“Frederick?”, he asked hoarsely and cleared his throat when he heard his own voice.  
“You can´t sleep, too?”, the Doctor droned without showing emotion, still staring straight.  
“It’s the.. erm.. the nightmares, they won´t stop.”, Will mumbled.  
“Who can blame you.”, Frederick said, finally looking up to Will who gave him a weak smile and offered a hand to help him up.  
Chilton hesitated at first but accepted the help eventually.  
“The silence and the darkness are driving me crazy. And the bed squeaks.”, Frederick said in a low voice and let out a distressed sigh.  
Will chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully and stared at his feet when he finally asked: “You want to come over? Somewhere between my dogs might be some space left.”  
Frederick rolled his eyes and scuffled back into his room.  
“That was a joke.”, Will called after him tiredly, as his guest reappeared in the door frame, his arms tightly clutched around his blanket and cushion.  
“Oh..”, Frederick said obviously disappointed, an embarrassed smile appearing on his face. “Of course.”, he added and cleared his throat as he was about to turn around.  
“Frederick.. The thing with the dogs was a joke.”, Will tried to explain, questioning himself if he was seriously about to invite Frederick Chilton to sleep in his bed, but he was tired and didn´t want to be alone and the Doctor seemed to feel the same way.  
Frederick looked at him, unsure what to feel, searching for a hint that Will was just making fun of him, but the man seemed serious.  
His lips formed a barely visible smile and he followed Will to the room next to his.

All of Will’s dogs were asleep in his bedroom. Some on the floor, some in doggy baskets, Winston was also already back, lying on a blanket, sleeping peacefully.  
Will shoved his bedding from the middle to one side, creating space for Frederick.  
It was double the size of the bed in the quest room and looked more comfortable.  
Hesitantly Frederick closed the door behind him and walked around the bed to the free side.  
“I dare you tell anyone about this.”, he said quietly.  
“Just, lie down and don´t talk about this, okay?”, Will replied and crawled back under his blanket.  
He felt quite uneasy about the fact that Dr. Chilton was in his bedroom, arranging his bedding and now snuggling under the sheets next to him.  
Frederick rolled on his back, pulled the blanket to his chin and took a deep breath.  
The room was immediately filled with an awkward silence between the two men.  
Will turned his head to the side, looking at Frederick and it didn´t take long until he did the same because he felt stared at.

The moonlight brightened up the room just a little, but enough for them to see each other’s faces.  
Will felt like he should burst out laughing because of this absolutely ridiculous situation, but the longer he was looking into the other man’s eyes, the more he understood that it wasn´t funny at all.

“How are you going to catch him?”, Frederick whispered.

Will couldn´t stand his sight any longer and turned his head to stare at the ceiling.

“You don´t know.”, he concluded because of Will’s reaction, who needed to think for a while, before he finally answered:

“I have a plan. I just don´t know if it is going to work.”, he said and turned his head back to the Doctor, but the other man had already fallen asleep.

 

 

***


	3. Behind masks

***

_“Eyes are distracting. You see too much, you don't see enough."- Will Graham_

***  


 

When Frederick woke up the next morning, he found himself alone in the unfamiliar room.  
It took a moment to clear his head and finally he remembered where he was and what had happened.  
He got up and went down the stairs, realizing how much he missed his cane.  
The pain he felt was a mixture of a muscle hangover because he wasn´t used to that amount of action anymore, the pain from his fresh wound and the leftovers of the fact that once someone removed all his organs.  
It was a miracle that the doctors were able to put him together again and he just had to mourn the loss of a kidney.  
Chilton wasn´t sure if the pain he still felt was partly psychosomatic, because his body regenerated as much as possible and doctors considered him as healthy.  
But the body did not forget, ever, so he still felt in need of his cane.  
When he finally made it downstairs, he found Will in the kitchen, sitting at the table, scribbling a note.  
The room was filled with the welcoming aroma of fresh coffee.  
Will already had a steaming mug in front of him, and there was a second one, placed in front of the place next to him, waiting for Frederick.  
The Doctor was a little bit touched when he saw that Will didn´t just tolerated him here, but also kind of included him somehow.

Will glanced up when he heard his guest coming and gave him a brief smile.  
His former psychiatrist definitely had seen better days, but he swallowed down a comment about his tousled hair.  
“You can choose between black coffee or black tea. I totally forgot to buy groceries.”, Will said and wrote something down. “Milk..”, he mumbled to himself, while Frederick joined him at the table.  
“Tea sounds perfect. I am not that hungry.”  
“Black can.”, Will said and started chewing on his pencil thoughtfully.  
Frederick filled his mug and blew into the steaming brown liquid, before he took a sip.  
“Well, we have to eat something, sometime. Write down what you need, I have no idea what you like.”, Will said clueless and shoved the notebook and pencil to his new housemate.  
“What I like isn´t the question, more what am I able to eat. Considering that my body can´t digest animal proteins very well anymore, I am on a strict vegetarian diet at the moment.”, the Doctor replied dryly and pulled the notebook in front of him.  
“I guess I´m fine with that. I temporarily lost my appetite for meat, anyway.”  
“I wonder why..”, Frederick made a face, “I was experimenting with some recipes recently, some of them where actually eatable, so if you don´t mind I could cook something for us later.”, he said monotonously, while he was writing down a few things on Will’s list.

Once more Will was about to make a sarcastic comment; he wasn´t able to imagine that his former psychiatrist possessed any talents besides his shameless self-overestimation.  
But on the other hand he had to admit to himself that he actually didn´t know very much about the other man.  
And they had to get along somehow for only god knew how long, so he just smiled and said: “Sounds good.”

“Jack Crawford called me back earlier, luckily I was able to make up some silly story why I called him last night.”, Will said conversationally, sipping his coffee.  
Chilton looked up shocked and dropped the pencil.  
“You know I hung up.”, Will said to calm the Doctor and picked up the pencil for him before he continued speaking:  
“Anyway, he asked me to visit a crime scene, -your place I’m afraid. For now the official version has to be, that you are the Ripper. I know you don´t like it, but it is important. Hannibal has to feel as safe as possible or my plan has no chance at all.”, Will explained and felt a little sorry for Frederick, because he looked so miserable.  
“I will tell Jack as soon as I can be sure that he is on my side.”

“Jack Crawford hates me! He will be pleased to put me under arrest.”, Frederick tried to stop Will from that idea and the other man gave him a tired smile.  
“Jack doesn´t hate you. He just doesn’t like you very much. Like me. And still, you’re here, right?”  
He stood up, slapping Frederick’s shoulder and left the room to take a shower.

Chilton stared at the paper, on which he already wrote down a few things he needed Will to get from the supermarket.  
Basically, he knew that Will Graham didn´t like him.  
He knew that he wasn´t a welcome guest, but to hear the words directly from Will, hit him harder than he had expected.  
Have he secretly hoped for an overnight change? That the recent events made them grow together somehow? Obviously, that didn’t happen.  
Will tolerated him here, trying to be as kind as possible to make the situation easier for the both of them.  
Frederick haven´t had much experience with friendships, he didn´t know how it feels to have someone who cares about you. He might have misinterpreted Will’s kindness.  
He just had colleagues or serial killers who needed him as patsy.  
But haven´t he tried to be there for Will, when he started doubting that he is guilty? When he realized that Will Graham was nothing more but a victim?  
He didn´t treat him as an object, not the way he might have had, when this unique cocktail of personality disorders and neuroses stepped into his office for the first time.  
Yes, he had been obsessed with the idea to celebrate remarkable success with Will Graham’s therapy.  
But when the chance was given to finally sneak into the man’s mind, while he was finally allowed to test him, he started focusing more and more on proofing, that his patient was innocent.  
Spending time with Will Graham had been the highlight of his days more than once.

Will Graham was unique. He could understand every psychiatrist who wished to fumble in that man’s rare mind just once.  
That might be exactly the reason why Will disliked him so much, but Chilton’s interest in Will as a patient faded away.  
He didn´t need a patient now, what he needed was a real friend, someone who cared about him. But it seemed that someone who tolerated his existence was the best he could get.

Frederick scrawled one last thing on the paper, folded it and stood up.  
His duffle bag was still on the table in the living room, inside nothing more but his leather wash bag and billfold, containing 443 dollars.  
He decided 50 should be enough and left a dollar bill next to the shopping list, before he took the bag and walked upstairs.  
He heard Will leaving the bathroom and waited until he vanished into his bedroom, before he sneaked into the bath.  
The Doctor locked the door in a hurry, turned the water on and sat down on the toilet lid, not even willing to take a shower.  
He just wanted to avoid facing Will again.

When Will finally finished dressing, he went to the kitchen and took the list, ignoring the money.  
He unfolded the paper and frowned.  
All Frederick had listed for shopping was crossed with two clean lines, beneath a message was written instead.  
‘Get whatever you like. You´ll find me in the guest room, trying not to bother you.’  
Will let out a frustrated sigh, he knew that this was his fault, but he didn´t mean to hurt the Doctor.  
Basically, he disliked Chilton, but yesterday the other man’s presence didn´t bother him at all.  
Not in the night, and also in the morning; the company was kind of comforting.  
He wasn´t used to not being alone, but so far it felt rather good.  
It wasn´t Will’s intention to make him feel unwelcome, -the situation was already bad enough-, he just wanted to point out that not everybody who didn´t like him, wanted to harm him at the same time.

Will went through the list; everything Frederick wrote down was still readable and made him smile a little.

‘Fruits, (all sorts, pick what you like), zucchini, eggplant, potatoes, spinach (frozen), pasta sheets (green), cheese (mozzarella!, and other), mushrooms, yoghurt (cherry or peach), chocolate (dark or nougat), -the ‘or’ was replaced with an ‘and’- , gummy bears, salad ingredi ‘ -he hasn´t finished the last word.  
“Damn..”, Will mumbled to himself and looked at his watch. “Shit!” He was late.  
He put on his coat in a hurry, crumpling the shopping list into the pocket and rushed outside.  
Now he had to focus on playing cool in Jack’s presence, everything else had to wait.

While he was on the road to Baltimore, he started musing about Chilton again.  
He remembered the first time they ever met and how obvious the Psychiatrist had pointed out his shameless interest in Will.  
First he just had been polite but when he realized who Will was, Chilton’s behavior turned slightly euphoric, a little nervous, even.  
Will avoided eye contact, but he felt the Doctor’s eyes on him all the time.  
He had been the center of his attention for sure.  
It might have been just part of his profession, the way every psychiatrist seemed to be fascinated by Will Graham but besides, he had been friendly.  
When Will was in hospital, succeeding in making Chilton believe that he was innocent and not a serial killer, the Doctor started to treat him like a human being again.  
His arrogant attitude faded, his eyes on Will wide awake, but gentle; not glancing at him in that condescending way like earlier, when he was circling around his cage, thoroughly convinced that he was talking to a monster.  
His methods were marginally acceptable for sure, but did that make him a bad person?

Hannibal’s opaque eyes once fascinated Will, because they were impossible to read.  
Hannibal Lecter was a serial killer, manipulative, a cannibal, a monster, conscienceless.  
He saw that now, but it took a while until he allowed himself a closer look behind the mask Hannibal chose for himself.

Frederick Chilton came out pompous, narcissistic, arrogant and shameless.  
But what if that was just a well-chosen mask as well, to lead other people away from the fact that he wasn´t that kind of person at all.  
He wasn´t even close to be respected the way he desired.  
It was more likely that the Doctor showed off like that to conceal a huge lack of self-confidence.  
He seemed lonely.  
Maybe there was a good guy hidden behind that annoying attitude and all those ridiculous luxury accessories but no one ever took the effort to break those walls.  
To be honest, Will had no interest in getting to know Frederick Chilton as well.  
But he was kind of his housemate now, neither of them knowing for how long.  
It would be just fair to push aside all the apparent characteristics for once, and take a closer look.

Jack Crawford was waiting in front of Chilton’s property, greeting Will with a handshake, when he got out of the car.  
“What happened?”, Will asked, his voice neutral, while his eyes scanned the huge house from the outside.  
“Looks like we finally found the Chesapeake Ripper.”, Jack explained with a serious expression and Will couldn´t hold back a smug grin.  
“Looks like..”, he repeated dryly while they were entering the house together.  
Will looked around curiously, hands hidden in the pockets of his coat, his fingers playing with the shopping list.  
“Feel free to get an impression and tell me what you think.”, Jack said and Will nodded, passing by the FBI agent.  
He wandered through the high, bright rooms leisurely, blinding out the other FBI employees who were discussing pieces of evidence here and there.

Will would have expected Chilton’s interior more like his office, which reminded him slightly of Hannibal Lecter’s art collection, but the rooms weren’t overloaded with swanky furniture.  
Almost every room had either huge windows or exterior walls completely made of glass, allowing view to the outdoor area and leaving the inside flooded with light.  
The walls were white, most of the furniture as well, if they weren’t made of bright wood or glass.  
If there was decoration, it was carefully chosen and well placed.  
There was enough space for hosting tons of guests and Will asked himself if all those chairs have ever been used.  
Will noticed fresh, matching flowers in each room, friendly and welcoming.  
A huge flat screen dominated in the sparsely furnished living room, making Will wonder what kind of movies the psychiatrist was watching when he came home after work, spending the evening on his own.

The clean image of the surroundings faded and Will allowed the reality to reappear.  
The kitchen looked like a film set, ready to shoot a splatter movie.  
Mutilated bodies on the tables, tons of blood splattered over the floor and walls, overrunning the symbolized innocence with the deep, ugly color of death.  
Will followed a trail of blood into another room with two chairs placed in front of a grand piano.  
Did Frederick play the piano or did he just buy that luxurious instrument to impress people; Will had no idea.  
But he supposed that this was the room where the Doctor woke up.  
All the blood, the victims; set for a play and the main actor had been placed in the center of it without even knowing his lines, when the curtain rose.

“Gideon is in the torture chamber.”, Jack’s voice appeared behind Will and he turned around to follow him without any comment.  
They walked down the stairs and the first thing that caught Will’s attention, was the sparkling cane, lying in front of the open door and already marked as piece of evidence.  
“Has this been recorded?”, he asked, pointing at the cane, while he took a sneak peek into the guest room.  
“Yes. Tell me, Will, how does this look like for you.”, Jack demanded.  
The Profiler sighed and kneeled down to pick up the cane.  
“I guess Chilton just wanted to get a fresh slice of Gideon for the evening meal and was so shocked that he no longer survived, that he threw away is walking aid to run upstairs, where he managed to overpower two FBI agents on his own, just to slaughter them in his wide open kitchen and decorated them before he decided it would be a good idea to flee. Jack, open your eyes! The Chesapeake Ripper doesn´t leave any evidence; nothing that would lead us to him. This is nothing more but theater, all over again! It’s ridiculous, but go ahead. Make the search for Chilton public. The real Ripper has to believe that he succeeded. We talk later.. in private.”  
Will turned around, leaving an absentminded Jack Crawford behind, who was staring at the dead body of Able Gideon as it was rolled out of the room, not aware that Will hid the cane under his long coat, while he climbed the stairs.

There was nothing more for Will to do here.  
To believe Dr. Chilton did all of this was so absurd.  
He thought of the man, sitting on his couch helpless and vulnerable, not even succeeding in fighting back his own tears.  
The man, who wasn´t able to find sleep, left all alone in a strange room, but the moment Will was beside him.  
Frederick Chilton, who was bathing in light to escape the darkness of his everyday life and who wrote gummy bears on the shopping list.  
Frederick, who might have hoped, that Hannibal Lecter was a friend who actually liked having long conversations with him and an honest interest in what he has to say. A friend, who invited him for dinner and appreciated his company but it turned out as the same shattering disappointment, Will had experienced before.

The Profiler felt anger rising in his chest and he knew that one more minute in this house would make him loose his temper. He just wanted to shout into all those people’s faces, how blind and stupid they were.  
When he reached his car, he put off his coat carefully; leaving the cane wrapped inside and put both on the backseat.  
He knew it was risky, but facing the collective ignorance and stupidity of the FBI, it was more likely that someone will think that anyone else knew what whoever did, when the cane was taken away.  
But with the possibility given to return a piece of dignity to Frederick, he was willing to take that risk.

 

***

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really trying to keep the mistakes on a low level... hopefully it´s not too terrible to read.. (I really feel like i´ve fucked up the grammar in this chapter..)


	4. Wrapped in safety

***

  


_"Will Graham is and will always be my friend" -Hannibal Lecter_

 

***

 

Frederick Chilton was lying on the unbeloved bed in the guestroom, staring at the ceiling.  
He didn´t even manage to get his bedding from Will’s bedroom.  
He remembered the last night, his feelings a mixture between embarrassment and reassurance.  
How pathetic he must have looked for Will Graham, to make the man invite him in his bed.  
How safe and secure he felt at the same time.

Slowly he felt like starving, but even if there was any food in this house, he wouldn´t be able to eat anyway.  
What the hell was he thinking this morning?  
Showing a little of his gratitude to Will, by presenting his moderate cooking skills?  
That they would enjoy a nice dinner together and watch some movie afterwards with a glass of wine?  
They weren´t friends, not even housemates.  
This was Will Graham’s home and his dogs were his housemates.  
He was just a received fugitive and Will offered him nothing more but a place to hide.

Frederick’s heart skipped a beat, when he heard a car coming.  
The dogs barked downstairs and he hold his breath until he heard the sound of the door.  
When the dogs fell silent, the Psychiatrist allowed himself to exhale.  
It could be no one else but Will and he mentally prepared himself for the confrontation.

Dull sounds from the kitchen came through the walls, followed by footsteps, coming up the stairs.  
Will entered his bedroom and soon after, Frederick heard the creaking door of the wardrobe.  
About fifteen minutes later the man of the house left his bedroom and tapped at the guestroom door.  
“Frederick?”  
Too stubborn to give Will a reaction, the Psychiatrist rolled over, squinting his eyes, as the squeaking bed betrayed him.

“I have to leave again for a while. Make yourself useful and sort the groceries, okay?”  
“Asshole.”, Frederick hissed.  
“I heard that.”, Will replied, while he was already moving away from the door.  
Frederick pressed his lips together, internally cursing himself, and waited until he heard the engine of Will’s car starting and the scrunching sound of the snow ensured him, that Will was leaving.  
When he was surrounded by silence again, he finally crawled out of the bed and struggled into the kitchen.  
He was tormented by hunger, but also the chance to get some distraction motivated him at least a little.  
He entered the room with the grumpiest face he could manage, even if no one could see him.  
But what he saw made him blink twice, before his face brightened up.  
He expected overloaded, half ripped shopping bags, waiting for him to be sorted and he didn´t even know what to put where in Will’s folksy kitchen.  
What he found was nothing like that.

Slowly Chilton moved closer to the table and eyed the cane, which was leaning against a chair.  
When there were no doubts that it was his, he took it with both hands, gently touching the silver knob, his fingertips sliding down the glittering length, before he put it back to take a closer look on what else was prepared for him.

A family box gummy bears, on top of the box two chocolate bars, -dark and nougat.  
A bunch of mixed white flowers was placed in the middle of the table, all kinds Frederick liked.  
Almost greedily, he grabbed the note, which was attached to the vase, unfolded it and read the message.

“I will be back soon. You can move through the house freely, I have an appointment with Dr. Lecter.  
In the fridge you might find everything you need, you don´t have to wait with the dinner.  
Try to feel a little bit more like at home.

W.  
(I hope the clothes fit..)”

“Clothes?”, Frederick said out loud with surprise in his voice and now he noticed the bag next to the candy.  
He pulled out what was hidden inside the bag curiously and found a navy-blue sweater, almost similar to the one he had to throw away, a pack of black basic t-shirts as well as a pack of black underwear and a pair of anthracite colored sweatpants.  
Obviously the quality wasn´t comparable to what Chilton was used to, but the thought itself made his heart beat a little bit faster.  
He must have missed the moment, when Will Graham became a sweetheart.  
The Doctor needed a moment to deal with the fact that Will did all this just to make him feel a little more comfortable.

He brought back his cane, which was Chilton’s anchor whenever he felt insecure; the flowers reminded him of home and owning at least some clothes felt like Independence Day.  
The Psychiatrist read the note three times more and swallowed down the lump in his throat before it would stop him from breathing, then he went to the fridge to inspect what else Will brought home from shopping.  
Surprisingly he did not just buy what was on the list, but also all the stuff Frederick didn´t write down anymore.  
Must have taken all of Will’s skills as a Profiler to guess what he was about to cook, Frederick thought with a thin smile.  
As he removed the fruits to get a better view, the first what caught his attention were a bunch of yoghurts. He counted two blueberry and peach flavored and four cherry yoghurts.  
Frederick smirked when he saw that half of them were labeled with a “W”, the other half with an “F”.  
Fully aware of what he was doing, he grabbed one of Will’s yoghurts, searched for a spoon and sat down at the table to still his hunger at least a little for now.

While Frederick enjoyed the sweet taste of cherry on his tongue, he made plans for the dinner, trying not to think too much about the line in Will’s message that said he left to meet Hannibal Lecter.  
It would be a good idea to take a shower first, -he felt grubby and no one likes to prepare a meal like that.  
Nonchalantly Chilton tossed the empty cup over his shoulder and sank down in his chair, rolling his eyes, as he heard the sound of plastic, missing the trash can.  
His throwing object rolled over the floor, making one of the smaller dogs chase it, to bring it back.  
The dog proudly placed it in front of the Psychiatrists feet, looking at the man eagerly, his tail wagging with excitement.  
Slightly annoyed, Chilton looked down at the still happily waiting dog.  
“What?”, he asked dryly and stood up to remove the garbage manually, when he spotted a packet with dog treats, sorted next to the cereals.  
He took out one and dropped it on the floor to hopefully satisfy the dog, before he grabbed the new clothes and hurried to the bathroom, with the regained help of his cane.

When Will came back home, it was already past midnight.  
He was exhausted, physically and mentally.  
Will knew that it wouldn’t be easy to face the man again, who murdered the girl who was like a daughter for him.  
The man, who sliced Beverly Katz into pieces and displayed her; -just to point out Will’s personal highlights of what Hannibal had done so far.  
Not to mention what he did to Will psychically, just to frame him for murder in the end.  
Like a zoo animal he had to persevere in a cell of the hospital and who knew what Hannibal wanted him for, this time.  
He could imagine very well but didn´t want to think about it at the same time.

As he turned into the driveway to his house, he could see that the living room was still slightly lighted from the fireplace.  
It was weird somehow, to come home with the knowledge that there was someone else, except his dogs.  
But at the same time, it was a welcome distraction.  
Will asked himself, how Frederick had reacted to his little peace offering and a touch of excitement rose in his chest.  
When he stepped into the entry area, a bunch of dogs were already waiting to greet him happily.  
The house was filled with a slowly fading but still tempting scent of food, so he went into the kitchen first.  
When he switched the light on, a well-laid table was waiting for two people to sit down and enjoy a meal.  
Did Frederick wait for him the whole time?

Will went into the living room to find a sleeping Dr. Chilton, wrapped into a blanket and curled up on the couch.  
He could hear him snore softly, as he moved closer.  
The putative Chesapeake Ripper looked so peaceful and innocent, that Will accidentally let out a sigh.  
He kneeled down in front of him and whispered: “Frederick? ..Hey..”  
Will gently shook his arm and it didn´t take very long until a pair of tired eyes blinked at him.  
The Psychiatrist righted up alarmed, looking around irritated, his face crumpled.  
“I fell asleep.. What time is it?”, he babbled, running his fingers through his thick, black hair.  
“Late.”, Will replied. “Haven´t you eaten anything at all?”  
“Just a snack..”

As the surroundings cleared and the Doctor’s mind slowly awoke, he scanned Will from top to bottom, as the other man stood up.  
The Profiler looked different than the last time he saw him. Almost like a gentleman.  
“How was your ..date?”, Frederick asked smugly and Will rose an eyebrow.  
“I had a therapy session.”  
“Ah. Sure you have to primp yourself up for that kind of event.”, Frederick equally rose an eyebrow, looking asquint at Will.  
“I explain it to you later, okay?”, Will started but suddenly his face darkened.  
“You know what? Actually I don´t have to explain anything to you.”, he snarled and rubbed his face.  
Frederick gave him an upset look and Will took a deep breath.  
“Listen. I am tired and I really don´t want to talk about what happened today.”, he started over and tried to manage an apologetic smile.  
Frederick seemed to accept that because he nodded quickly, but with a faked smile.

Will’s mood brightened up a little as Frederick stood up and he saw him wearing the new clothes.  
“You’re wearing the clothes.”, he pointed out and Frederick made a face.  
“As if I had a choice, and you are a jerk. I look like a clown.”  
Now Will noticed that the sweater was at least two sizes too big, which made Dr. Chilton seem to be at least 10 centimeters smaller and looking a little lost.  
“You’re welcome.”, Will countered with a gleeful grin, but he turned around before Frederick got a chance to see that and headed for the kitchen.  
Frederick grabbed his cane and made a frustrated noise.

“Will..”, he said ruefully and wobbled after him.  
The other man stopped and turned around with a look of inquiry.  
Chilton cleared his throat.  
“Actually,.. what I wanted to say, I ..wanted to thank you. For..”, he glanced down at his cane and looked up at Will again. “Everything.”  
Will nodded with a cautious smile.  
“I know. Come on, I’m starving. I think it’s time for you to explain why it smells so nice from the kitchen.”, he successfully changed the topic and Chilton followed him.  
“Please, don’t expect too much. It is kind of a self-creation.”, he said as if he already expected Will to be disappointed and turned on the oven to heat up what was inside.  
“I made spinach-mushroom-mozzarella lasagne and for dessert; ordinary fruit salad.”, he explained tersely and sat down at the table.  
“Sounds good.”, Will said and vanished to get something to drink.  
A few moments later he reappeared with a bottle of red wine.  
“Probably not comparable to those you treasured up in your wine vault.”, he said apologetic and a chill rushed through Frederick’s bones as he thought back to what happened the last time he went down to his basement.  
Will didn´t miss the sudden change in the Doctor’s face and sat down next to him.  
He laid his hand on Frederick’s, which had started to tremble, his thumb gently stroking the back of it.  
The Psychiatrist winced but slowly calmed down as he focused on the unfamiliar physical contact of another human being.  
He didn´t dare to look at Will..

“Dr. Lecter kept my appointment open. He wasn´t aware that I would come over, but he was already waiting for me.”, Will started talking, his voice low.  
“He might keep saying that our former friendship is over because I tried to kill him but I think I hooked him. From the beginning, he saw the potential of an ally in me. He is lonely and longs for someone to share his..lifestyle.. with. He is obsessed with the idea that this someone would be me. Maybe I have it in me. Maybe he planted it into my mind, I honestly don´t know. All I know is that I have to give him what he wants. He has to believe, that he succeeded and when he fully trusts me, when he feels completely safe, then I can lure him into a trap.”

Will didn´t know, why shared the details of his plan with Frederick Chilton, why he felt like it was important that the Doctor understood what was happening around him. Maybe he just wanted to ensure him that something was happening. That Hannibal Lecter wouldn´t get away unpunished.

“That’s insane..”, Frederick whispered and turned his head to look Will right into his pale blue, shimmering eyes.  
“What choice do I have?”, Will said, his voice shaking, his lips forming a sad smile, while he shrugged.  
“You think I’m not scared?”, he asked and a single tear rolled down his cheek.

Frederick saw how Will was about to break down mentally, laid an arm around him instinctively and pulled him into a tight embrace.  
“What can I do, Will?”, he whispered into the other man’s ear, while he was holding his trembling body.  
Will digged his fingers into the thick fabric of Frederick’s brand new sweater and hid his face in the crook of his neck.  
He cried without a sound while Frederick waited for his former patient to calm down, his hand stroking his back constantly.

It felt like a little eternity until Will found the strength to move away from the Doctor.  
He looked directly into his big, concerned looking eyes and said quietly: “Help me not to forget who I am.”  
Frederick nodded and used his oversized sleeve to dry the tears on Will’scheeks, but Will dissociated himself from the unexpectedly caring gesture and stood up in a hurry.  
“I guess dinner is ready.”, he said hastily, his voice still broken and searched for potholders to get the lasagne out of the oven.  
Frederick sorrowfully stared at nothing particular, while Will placed the provisional cake-pan in the middle of the table.  
After the content was equally shared, he filled the glasses with wine and joined his guest at the table.  
When there was still no reaction from Frederick, Will sighed.  
“I´m sorry. I kind of lost control..”, he started but Frederick interrupted him.  
“No need to apologize. Hannibal Lecter was your friend. You trusted him. To face him again with the knowledge of what he did to you and what he is capable of… Seriously, I admire your strength, Will.”, Frederick said and gave him a sad smile.

Without any more words, they started to eat.  
It wasn´t an uncomfortable silence, it was exactly what Will needed right now.  
What Frederick had prepared for dinner was surprisingly delicious and with the fading hunger, the appetite returned.

Will didn´t have to mention, that he liked the food, it was obvious and Frederick felt a small inner victory.  
When both finished, the Psychiatrist stood up to get the dessert from the fridge.  
Will watched him carrying two little glass bowls, equally filled with diced, colorful mixed fruits.  
He handed one of them over to Will, who took it with a thankful smile.  
It was nothing like Hannibal’s artistically arranged desserts, but he was more than happy to have something simple.  
Simple and delicious and without any complicated French names not even Hannibal was able to pronounce.

It was Frederick, who finally broke the silence.  
“I hope it is okay.”, he said while he grabbed his spoon and started eating.  
“It’s perfect. Everything you made.”, Will replied, causing Frederick’s heart to beat a little bit faster and a tiny feeling of happiness awoke in the darkness that currently surrounded him.  
Finally he did something right.

Soon after they finished the dessert, they decided to go to bed.  
Both men were too exhausted for any more conversation; even changing clothes seemed like an invincible challenge.  
Frederick left the bathroom, almost bumping into Will when he wanted to enter his bedroom and the other man was about to leave it.  
“I..just wanted to get my blanket.”, Frederick pattered to explain himself, but the look on his face told a different story.  
“Don´t be silly, Frederick.”, Will just said and headed for the bathroom.  
Hesitatingly, Chilton entered his host’s bedroom and eventually lost the inner fight with his pride.  
He slipped under the covers and took a deep breath before he closed his eyes.  
Will followed him soon after and he felt the mattress next to him sink.  
Without opening his eyes again, he felt Will’s presence like a cocoon to keep him safe.

“Good night, Frederick.”, Will whispered into the darkness.  
“Good night. I take back the asshole.”, was the quiet response.

“The jerk, too?”

“No chance.”

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, that it took so long, but tranlating is still hard for me.  
> I hope the effort is worth it and some people are enjoying the story even with my lack of language knowledge ^^;  
> I try to hurry up with the next chapter =)
> 
> and thx for all the kudos!! <3 =D


	5. Surreal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised I hurried up! =) Thank you sweet anons for the motivation~ <3

 

***

  


_"It's hard to be your own person when you can't get out of your own head." -Abel Gideon_

 

***

 

When Will opened his eyes, he was staring at a grey ceiling, familiar and disturbing at the same time.  
He sat up slowly and looked around.  
His cell in the Baltimore State Hospital didn´t changes much, but why was he here?  
He turned around and on the other side of the bars; there were Alana Bloom and Jack Crawford.  
Alana, her arms crossed in front of her chest, looking at him with a mixture of anger and disappointment.  
Jack’s look was rather pitiful and he shook his head uncomprehendingly, before they both turned their backs on him and walked away in slow motion.  
Will got up fast, grabbed the bars and called after his friends: “What have I done?”

-Silence-

“What have I done?”, he asked once more, his voice just a whisper and he froze as he heard a familiar sound.  
A tapping of hoofs, echoing through the corridor, and Will knew who his next visitor would be.  
No, something was different, it wasn´t the same sound.  
He pressed himself against the bars, but he wasn´t able to see what was coming closer and closer, as suddenly the door burst open and Will stumbled into freedom.  
He hit the floor hard and remained motionless on all fours until he finally dared to look up.  
Confused, he watched the beautiful creature coming closer retiringly.  
It was a white feathered stag, a little bit smaller than the black one who visited him in his dreams so often.  
The soft feathers on his stomach were drenched in deep red blood that was dropping on the floor, leaving a thin trail of spots.  
Will noticed that it walked with a limp, but with its head held high, it still seemed filled with pride, graceful, even if it was injured.  
Will stood up slowly and moved closer to the strange creature, until he was right in front of it.  
The stag snorted softly and bowed his head to nudge Wills hand with its snout.  
Will followed the silent request and touched the animal’s forehead carefully, his fingers running through the soft fur.  
“Hey..”, he whispered, exploring the pale green, trustful eyes of the creature.

“Hello Will.”  
A more than familiar voice led his attention to the cell next to him.  
Behind thick, bullet-proof glass stood Hannibal Lecter, wearing a strait jacket and the same mask Will once had to wear, staring at him with a cold smile on his lips.  
In that moment, the black stag appeared behind Will, pushed him aside, and speared its antlers through the throat of its white rival, which collapsed silently in its own pool of blood, taking a final breath before its body remained still.

Will’s eyes flew open, he was breathing heavy.  
He realized immediately, that he was in his own bedroom now, but he needed a moment to recover from the dream.  
When he was able to control his breath, he turned his head to the side, just to make sure Frederick was still there.  
He was.  
Frederick Chilton was lying next to him, in his bed, sleeping deeply.  
Sometime in the night he had turned over, giving Will the opportunity to watch him without being disturbed.  
It was calming and strange at the same time.  
Why was he allowing him to come that close?  
This man whose company he deeply abhorred not long ago.  
This Psychiatrist he wouldn´t want to count to his friends in a million years or more.  
Frederick Chilton, the only one he didn´t feel betrayed by.  
Sure he wasn´t a help in court, but with the given evidence and no personal connection to Will, he just said what was obvious to him. No need to blame him for that.  
Okay, he talked to Lecter against their agreement but he rather wanted to show off a little, Will thought.  
Today Will even let his shields down for a moment and allowed himself to find comfort in the other man’s arms.  
It felt good but he didn´t know if he would ever be able to trust another human being again.  
Chilton on the other hand seemed to trust him blindly and somehow he wished he would also be able to.  
He wanted to have at least one person in his life he could completely trust.  
But he couldn´t even trust himself, there was no guaranty that the dark needs, hidden inside him, wouldn´t betray his good intents.

The dream didn´t feel like a nightmare, not as usual.  
The white stag freed him, why did he let the black one kill it?  
He wasn´t able to interact, all he could do was watching.  
It reminded him of how successfully Hannibal Lecter took everything from him, until he had nothing left in his life, except Hannibal Lecter.  
He alienated him from all his friends until Hannibal was the only one left to save him from loneliness.  
Will wasn´t feeling lonely at the moment.

Next to him, there was an injured creature that came to him, full of trust.  
Or was it a potential friend, someone who was worth to trust in once more, like he trusted him?  
Could he have been that wrong about Dr. Chilton?  
Or was he the one who was wrong about Will?  
If Hannibal had wanted to kill Chilton, he would have done it and Will could have done nothing to hold him back.

Frederick’s breath was even and he snorted softly, every time he exhaled.  
One of his hands rested next to his face, the other was clenched into the sheet, which he had pulled up to his chin.  
Will reached out slowly, still lying on his back, his head still turned to Frederick, slightly touching the back of his hand with his knuckles, watching how the contact made it relax.  
He felt the urge to grab that hand, to hold it, but he just let his own hand rest next to the other.

It haven´t been two full days since Chilton became his involuntary roommate, but Will already felt a strange intimacy between him and his former psychiatrist.  
Not just because they shared a bed for the second time.  
Frederick lost almost everything he needed to keep his image as narcissistic, loathsome-arrogant administrator of the Baltimore State Hospital, collector of psychopaths and highly questionable competent psychiatrist, alive.  
Even if more likely against his will, Chilton exposed himself as being not that bad.  
He allowed Will to get to know parts of the vulnerable person he might be inside and didn´t even try very much to hide it anymore.  
Will did the same.  
Maybe it was the first time that Dr. Chilton was privileged to get an insight of how the current events made Will feel.  
But none of them judged the other. They simply shared those feelings without assessing.  
Will knew that Chilton felt helpless and weak; there was no need to point it out or suggest a solution.  
There was no solution.  
Time would help to put the pieces of their shattered existences back together, little by little, but even thinking about that was a waste of effort, as long as Hannibal Lecter was a free man.

Will thought back to a conversation with Hannibal, it was mostly about how Will fantasizes about killing him.  
The Doctor didn´t seem to care much that it was about him, he seemed rather satisfied about Will’s desire to kill.  
To wake up the killer inside of him, that’s what it was all about, the whole time.

The Profiler tried to remember why he wasn´t able to stop slipping into the minds of serial killers to understand their thinking, to feel their motivation, their reasons and desires.  
He wanted to save people.  
Will Graham was a man who wanted to save the life of innocent people, even if it would break him.  
There were so many people he couldn´t save from Hannibal Lecter, but he would put an end to that.  
With that thought he closed his eyes, slowly drifting back to sleep without any more dreams.

The next time Will opened his eyes, it was already bright outside and the other half of the bed empty.  
The blanket was carelessly crumpled aside, the bottom sheet partly crinkled.  
Will rolled over and placed his hand on the evidence that someone was lying there before.  
The fabric was cold, what meant that the other man must have been awake for a while.  
Actually, Will was glad about that.

The memories of the night faded to a surreal feeling, like if you wake up from a dream but no matter how real it felt, a few minutes later you can´t even remember what exactly happened and how to sort it.  
Paradoxically it didn´t feel uncomfortable to fall asleep next to his former psychiatrist, but the thought of waking up next to him slightly freaked him out.  
Would they say good morning to each other? Stay in bed a little longer and talk? Discuss who goes to the bathroom first?  
All those possibilities were quite disturbing and would make both of them feel awkward.  
Pillow talk was for married couples or couples in general.  
Nothing for a psychiatrist and his former patient.  
Not long ago they were separated by bars, Will sitting in a cage or tied to a chair while they talked to each other.  
Three days ago he had been miles away from even being able to imagine something like waking up next to Dr. Chilton one day.  
In the bright morning the recent events would become a real thing, more than in the night when he was exhausted and just wanted to get some rest and everything around him felt like something far, far away.  
It didn´t matter that he decided for himself to give Frederick a second chance, the presence of the old Dr. Chilton was still too visible in his mind.  
Luckily Frederick was still sleeping the day before, when Will got up first and he hoped it would go on like this.  
He couldn´t quite put those weird feelings in order, not even define them, so he shoved them aside and realized, that it was almost noon when he checked the clock.  
His rumbling stomach forced him out of bed eventually and put his confusing thoughts to silence for now.

When Will was about to enter the kitchen, he stopped in the doorframe, leaning against it with crossed arms and watched what was occurring inside of the room.

The table was laid, coffee was already made and also fresh orange juice was waiting for someone to drink it.  
He found Frederick in front of the stove, trying to flip a pancake.  
The dogs were already fed, some of them still eating from their bowls, others waiting for the next pancake to drop down.  
Will cleared his throat to point out his presence, and Chilton turned around slowly.  
His black shirt was covered in flour, there was also some on his check and a few traces in his hair, which made it look partly grey.  
“Sweet or savory..”, Frederick asked with a distressed expression and let out a frustrated sigh.

For a moment, Will had no words.  
The whole scenario could only have been better if it had started raining only above Chilton’s head.  
Will made an amused noise; then he burst out laughing.  
He slid down to the ground, his back against the doorframe, trying to pull himself together, but it was impossible. When he looked at Chilton once more, he broke out into laughter again.  
The whole situation was too incredible to be true.

While Hannibal Lecter still enjoyed freedom and Will was about to follow his path into darkness, there was his former psychiatrist, Dr. Frederick Chilton, standing in his kitchen, failing to make pancakes.  
“Very funny.”, Frederick snarled, because he thought Will was making fun of him. “Then make your damn breakfast yourself.”  
He angrily divested himself of the apron, which wasn´t much of a help anyway, and flung it on the ground.  
Will laughed even more and grabbed the border of Frederick’s sweatpants, as he was about to stomp out of the kitchen.  
“Frederick…”, he chuckled, “You would be the worst housewife ever.”  
“Let go.”, the Psychiatrist hissed, but Will didn´t loosen his grip.  
“Hannibal…”, he started and it was really hard for him to speak in whole sentences, because he was still laughing.  
“Hannibal thinks you’re on the run. He made such an effort but you… you’re here, sleeping in my bed.. making me pancakes, Dr. Frederick Chilton.”, he laughed and slowly the Doctor was no longer able to keep feeling offended and angry.  
He settled himself across from Will, watching him a while.  
“Well. I am trying.”, he said, joining in his laughter; a little less carefree, though.  
Will was right; the situation was in fact kind of funny.

Gradually Will managed to calm down, focused on breathing; his cheeks now with a shade of red, his eyes shining from the tears caused by his laughter.

“I know it isn’t really funny.”, Will said apologetically, but still a little amused.  
“No.”, Frederick replied with a thin smile. “But it’s nice to see you with a happy face.”  
Will said nothing and heaved himself to his feet.  
He offered Frederick a helping hand and pulled him up, as he accepted the help.  
The lack of space in the doorframe forced both men to stand unintentionally close to each other, making them freeze in motion, locking eyes.  
Frederick broke the eye contact first and lowered his head.  
“There’s flour in your face.. and..everywhere.”,Will said unusually soft, before he moved back into the kitchen.  
“Go change your clothes; I see what I can do with what’s left of the batter.”  
Frederick cleared his throat awkwardly, grabbed his cane which leaned against the wall and left Will alone with the chaos.

A few moments later he was standing in front of the sink, looking at himself in the mirror.  
It wasn´t new to him to barely recognize his own reflection, but now he felt even more like a stranger to himself than usual.  
It was the first time Chilton saw Will laugh himself to tears, if not the first time he had ever seen him laughing at all.  
This rare sight of Will kind of warmed his heart and made it heavier at the same time.  
He tried to wash away his raging heartbeat with cold water; caused by Will’s intense look and the sudden closeness to the other man.  
There must have been a psychological explanation for his emotional chaos and as soon as he would be able to think again, he would remember for sure.

The breakfast was equally awkward.  
Frederick nibbled at his chocolate pancake with little appetite, while Will seemed rather tense, eating his ham and cheese pancake fast, almost aggressively chewing.  
He bought the ham cubes in the supermarket so he was able to eat them without strange feelings.  
“Is the batter at least..good?”,Frederick eventually asked, sluggish plucking a piece of one corner to put in his mouth.  
Will just nodded because his mouth was full and flushed everything down with a huge swig of coffee.  
“If you ever dare to compare me to a housewife again, I will mix cockroaches in your cereals someday.”, Frederick said casually, as he refilled his mug with coffee.  
“A bad one.”, Will corrected and cried out in pain as he got a hack on the shin under the table.  
“See. That’s what you get.”, Chilton said nonchalantly, concentrating on his pancake.  
“That..actually.. hurt?”, Will protested and the Psychiatrist glanced up. “It was supposed to.”, he replied, a small, mischievous grin appearing on his lips.  
Will opened his mouth to say something in return, but the ringtone of his mobile phone interrupted him before he got the chance.  
“The conversation is not over!”, he warned, before he hurried into the living room.  
Chilton stayed relaxed, eavesdropping of course, but unfortunately Will closed the door and all he could hear was the dull sound of his voice, so he continued with his breakfast, as Will stormed back into the kitchen.

“Okay, the conversation is over. Jack will be here in about an hour, he wants to go ice fishing. In the evening we have a dinner invitation from Hannibal.”, he briefed Chilton as fast as possible and started to clean up the table hastily.  
Chilton jumped up immediately, because he understood the rush very well.  
When Jack Crawford would come over, absolutely everything that could be a hint that Will was no longer alone had to be gone.  
“Go, take a shower, pack your stuff, you can leave this to me.”, Frederick said while he carried everything from the table to the sink and started with the washing up.

“Okay.”, Will breathed deeply.  
“Frederick you might make a horrible housewife, but you appear to be a rather pleasant roommate.”, he said to defuse their unresolved fight.  
“You better don’t prejudge me, Will Graham, I ate one of your yoghurts.”, Frederick confessed without shame and punished Will with a superior smile.

He highly enjoyed the sight of Will’s puzzled expression for a moment, before he turned his back on him and focused on the dishes.

Will left the room, shaking his head, but he couldn´t restrain a chuckle while he climbed the stairs.  
No matter if he liked it or not; everything seemed a little easier with Frederick Chilton by his side.  
At least at home, he felt the darkness fading.

***


	6. In love with an idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took so long, but this chapter was hard work to translate.. I hope I will finish the next one faster =) Enjoy~

 

***

  
  


_"You hook him, I'll land him."_ \- Jack Crawford

  
  


***

 

 

 

All traces that could have led to Chilton had been successfully removed when Jack Crawford rang the doorbell.

The Doctor had managed to hide everything in time and all of his few belongings had been carried to the guest room, where he was hiding now.

 

When he heard Jack ring, Will opened the door and invited his former friend in.

He still wasn´t able to fully forgive him for not believing him until the very end, but he needed Jack for his plan, so whether he liked it or not, he had to give the man a second chance.

 

“Come in, Jack.”, Will said and the FBI-Agent stepped in, nodding with a smile.

“I’m almost ready to go.”, the Profiler informed him, while he was packing some spare clothes for the dinner into his bag.

 

“There’s no rush.”, Jack replied, petting some dogs which welcomed him with happy curiosity.

He walked slowly through the hallway, peering into the living room, then into the kitchen.

“Are you looking for something?”, Will asked, suddenly appearing behind Jack, who just shook his head with an innocent expression.

“So, what is all this about? A fishing trip, then dinner with Dr. Lecter.. Are we playing good old times?”

Will wasn´t really able to hide his displeasure about the situation.

 

“That’s how I imagined it.”, Jack said, “I hope for a big catch, I would like to know exactly what I am about to put in my mouth tonight.”

He gave Will an intense look and the face of the Profiler brightened up.

“You..believe me? Finally?”, he asked hesitantly and the pleasant expression on the FBI Agents face suddenly turned dark.

“I already told you. It is not enough to convince me that Miriam didn´t identify him as the Ripper.”

“Yes, but you haven´t had another suspect at that time. That was before Chilton fled from his slaughterhouse, when the Ripper usually never even left a single fingerprint.” Will’s voice was filled with pure sarcasm.

 

“I have to admit it. Chilton’s horror house was theater. It seemed to make sense at the beginning, but if you look at the details and think them through.. There is still no trace where he could be hiding, by the way. He just vanished. ”

 

“No one just vanishes without any trace.”, Will said. “But.. if he was fast enough, he could have rented a private jet to leave the country. He sure has enough money for something like that.”

 

“His car is gone, too. Wherever he is hiding, he was fast enough. And he has no family, no friends or anyone in the area, except Hannibal Lecter.”

 

“Hannibal Lecter is no one’s friend.”, Will replied with a snarky smile, his jaw tightening.

“It is good, that Chilton is gone. As long as the FBI is looking for him, maybe with one or two articles on Tattlecrime.com, we can lull Hannibal into a fake-security that allows him to go on. As soon as you find Chilton, you have to arrest an innocent man.. again.”

Will’s chose his words well and on purpose, just to find out if Frederick was right with his theory.

 

“Don´t tell me you wouldn´t enjoy seeing the man who treated you like a laboratory rat walking in your shoes.”, Jack said with a smug smirk.

 

The place where all of you have been looking at me like I was a psychopathic serial killer? –Will thought, but kept it to himself.

“I wouldn´t want for anyone, even if I hate that person, to go through that hell without deserving it.

Dr. Chilton gave me a chance to prove my innocence at a time when you, fully convinced that I am a serial killer, still refused to even consider the fact that I could be right.”, Will said instead, with faked hilarity and the smile on Jack’s face died immediately.

 

“I know and I am sorry. I should have trusted you more.”, the FBI Agent said, feeling guilty, and Will let out a sigh.

 

“Hannibal is manipulating all of us.”, he just said, while he picked up his bag.

 

“I haven´t told you yet, but the night when Gideon escaped and the Ripper freed you, Alana Bloom was with Hannibal the whole night.”, Jack said, obviously concerned about Will’s reaction.

Will took a deep breath and exhaled, while he nodded tensely.

“I already expected something like that; she was here and asked me if Hannibal is safe from me.

It felt like she was spitting right into my face… I told her to stay away from Hannibal as far as possible. There’s nothing more I could do. She isn´t even sorry for telling me over and over that I did it; that she tried to convince me that I was out of my mind. I loved her, Jack, at least I thought it was love and Hannibal knows that and now he is using her as an alibi.”

 

“Love is blind..”, Jack said, clapping Will’s shoulder with an empathetic smile.

“No need to look at me like that, I am done with Alana. I can just hope for her that she stays a useful tool for Hannibal long enough.”, Will said, forcing a bitter smile.

He wasn´t sure if his feelings for Alana have ever been true love or if he just loved the idea of having someone to snuggle up to under a blanket, with all the dogs around, in front of the fireplace after a long day…

He loved to imagine the feeling of not being alone; being with someone to share your life with.

Alana was beautiful, attractive and she made him feel like he had a chance to be with her.

He had been longing for love and maybe just having the option had been enough to make him fall in love with that idea.

Suddenly, the picture of a different person appeared before Will’s inner eye, grumpy and covered with flour, surrounded by dogs waiting for the next pancake to drop.

 

“Will?”

 

Jack slightly shook his shoulder, calling him again.

 

“Hello, Will?”

 

The Profiler winced like he just had been woken up by someone, looking at Jack confusedly.

“What?”, he stammered, blinking twice.

“I was just wondering why you are daydreaming with such a stupid smile on your face.”, Jack grinned while Will hastily grabbed his own face.

“There is no stupid smile on my face..”, he said, feeling heat rising in his cheeks.

There is no way that remembering Frederick Chilton in his kitchen could make him daydreaming and grinning like a jerk, even if it had been a quite amusing situation.

Yes! Of course, it was funny, that’s why!

 

“I thought about something funny.”, Will confessed, which made Jack raise an eyebrow.

Understandable, their conversation was far from being funny.

 

“Something with dogs… Alana… dogs… We should go. We need a well-planned strategy to catch a fish!” Will tried to lead the topic into a different direction, leaving the house in a hurry.

Jack followed him, shaking his head, still smiling.

 

Frederick was too scared to leave his room until it finally turned dark outside and he could be sure that Hannibal was at his home, preparing dinner.

Exhausted from doing nothing, he was wandering through the house and as soon as he reached the hallway, he was surrounded by Will’s other housemates.

He decided to let the dogs frolic around in the front yard a little and took the opportunity to get some fresh air, while he was looking after them.

With a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, the Doctor sat down on the stairs of the front porch.

It was cold, but with every breath he took, he felt the cold air running through his lungs and for the first time since he had escaped from his house, he felt a little more alive.

Today, he had had way too much time to think about things, coming to the conclusion that all his priorities in life were nothing more but a joke.

He had always tried to impress people, wanting to push his career as far as possible, but for what?

Day by day he had ended up going home alone, trying to drown his loneliness with alcohol and bad movies.

 

Chilton’s career wasn´t exactly going into the desired direction, but it was all he had, everything that made him the person he was.

His appearance never impressed anyone and even though he worked in a leading position, a job he should be respected for, he wasn´t as popular as he wished to be..

At least he earned enough money to satisfy his own standards, but money didn’t make him happy at all.

Yes, he liked being wealthy and he liked showing it, but in the end he felt like a failure in every condition of life.

At some point he had just decided to be an asshole and he felt quite comfortable in that role.

It didn´t matter anyway, if no one really liked or respected him.

He chose an identity that kind of protected him, but here at Will Graham’s home, it was useless.

He felt naked and vulnerable, but Will just accepted him like that and it didn´t seem that he wanted to use it against him or to hurt him.

Besides, the Will Graham he used to know had always been an arrogant, cynical asshole as well.

They hadn´t had a personal connection, but here, where they had to cope with a daily routine together, Will was completely different.

Although neither of them was fully able to stop their habitual bantering, there was a pleasant level of intimacy between them.

The Profiler cared about how Frederick felt, he even called him a rather pleasant roommate..

Pleasant meant that he must feel quite comfortable in his presence, right?

He could as well let him rot in the guestroom, but he didn´t.

 

Suddenly, the white shepherd appeared, placing a stick in front of Frederick’s feet and distracting him from his thoughts.

The Doctor threw the stick as far as he could and watched the dog running after it happily.

Then he stood up and walked a few steps up and down, when the shed caught his attention.

His car was hidden inside..

Frederick checked the bunch of keys he had brought outside and headed to the small shack.

The snow was scrunching under his weight and Winston followed him, which was quite calming.

Frederick needed three tries until he found the right key and entered the cold room.

Will had covered the car with a huge, black plastic sheet, not really much to keep someone from exposing what was hidden underneath.

Frederick shoved the plastic aside to free the door, which was unlocked; the car keys were lying very visible on the passenger seat.

 

“Hey! Don´t”, Frederick tried to stop Winston from hopping into the car, but it was too late.

The dog had already curled up on the passenger seat, looking at Frederick in the most innocent way possible.

“Oh no.. Now I have your hair all over my seats.. ”, Frederick whined, but followed the dog and closed the door.

He breathed in the smell of his car and remained motionless for a while, before he unearthed the keys from beneath their current occupant.

He turned the key in the ignition lock, just as far enough to activate the radio, which filled the small space with the refrain of “Super Trouper”.

Frederick closed his eyes, enjoying the familiar music and started to sing along silently.

He knew the song so well; this station was always playing it several times a day.

He fully joined into the following verse, gripping the wheel and imagining to be on the road on a sunny day, top-down and feeling the wind in his face.

 

But right before the refrain started again, the song faded out and was replaced by the news.

Frederick sank down in his seat and listened to the female voice, coming through the boxes.

Weather-alert, black ice, traffic… but suddenly he pricked up his ears and turned up the volume a little.

 

“The search for the notorious serial killer, called the Chesapeake Ripper, is still without success. The FBI has extended the search to foreign countries, but it is equally probable, that the psychopath his still hiding within the country. The man is in his early forties, about 5.8 feet tall, with dark, short hair and of average built. He is driving a deep-red Jaguar XK 150, 1958 model. The man is extremely dangerous. Please report any helpful hints, as to the location of the man or his vehicle, to your local police station. More news at 8 pm and now you’re listening to a song by Daniel Powter: Bad Day!”

 

Frederick’s whole body was trembling.

He knew that they were after him, he knew what he was accused of, but hearing it officially hit him hard.

Winston jumped up and whined when he placed his head on the lap of his master’s new mate.

Frederick started ruffling his fur absent-mindedly, when he suddenly hugged the dog tightly, buried his face in the soft fur, sobbing uncontrollably.

His whole existence was shattered to pieces and at this moment, he was more aware of that fact than ever.

Winston endured Frederick’s embrace patiently and slowly the Psychiatrist calmed down.

He loosened his grip, running his fingers through Winston’s fur thankfully and got a wet dog-kiss in return.

While scratching Winston between the ears, he was watching the dog for a while.

Slowly he started to understand why Will felt so comfortable with his dogs.

The way Winston looked at him was pure love without judging. He seemed to feel Frederick’s pain and tried to be there for him without questioning. This trust from a pure creature like that felt quite good.

“Come on..”, Frederick whispered softly, opened the door, shooing Winston carefully out of the car.

He turned off the engine, left everything like it had been before and followed Winston back to the house.

As he reached the porch, he whistled once and one dog after another trotted back inside.

Frederick counted silently, because he didn´t want to accidentally leave one of them outside and closed the door, after the last dog darted into the hallway.

 

Like the day before, Will came home late and again, he recognized the light of the fireplace.

He was looking forward to finally be at home again.

His little house that,- from the distance-, looked like a safe ship on the ocean; where his dog-family was waiting for him and now, as well, his stupid roommate whom he got used to more and more.

After those feigned conversations about guilt and forgiveness at Dr. Lecter’s dinner table, he almost longed for the genuine company his former psychiatrist offered him to enjoy.

He haven´t had to wear a mask here and Frederick was completely himself, too.

Slowly, Will realized how rare and precious that feeling was.

 

The Profiler found Frederick in the living room.

He was sitting on the couch, wrapped into a blanket with a glass in his right hand, gazing apathetically into the distance.

Winston was curled up by his side, sleeping peacefully.

Will recognized a bottle of Whisky on the table, almost empty.

He sighed and put his stuff aside, before he entered the room.

 

“Hey..”, he greeted his guest hesitantly.

Slowly, Frederick turned his head in Will’s direction, glassy-eyed and his face with an unnatural shade of red.

“I am the Chesapeake Ripper.”, he babbled, followed by a humorless laughter.

“You are drunk in the first place, not the Chesapeake Ripper.”, Will replied, joining him on the couch.

“Not according to the News-Lady. Cheers!”

With those words, he downed his glass with one gulp and reached for the bottle to fill it once more.

“I think you had enough.”, Will said, taking the glass from the Doctor to have a sip himself.

“He destroyed everything, Will. Me, my career, my life… I have nothing left..”, Frederick whined and again he wasn´t able to hold back tears.

Will put an arm around Frederick, who sank into the comforting gesture automatically, nestling up against Will’s shoulder, his eyes shut.

 

Will put the glass aside to huddle up against Frederick under the blanket and leaned his cheek against the Doctors head.

Frederick’s body was trembling softly and Will knew, that he was crying.

 

“You’re alive, that’s the only thing that matters. You will get everything else back, as soon as I am done with him.”, Will whispered, gazing into the fire.

He listened to the soft sound of crackling wood, remembering the conversation he had this morning.

 

Here he was, snuggled up against someone under a blanket, in front of the fireplace and surrounded by his dogs at the end of a long day.

It wasn´t exactly how he imagined it, but life was always like that, right? You never knew what you would get.

Frederick rolled over, wrapping an arm around Will, which made him pull the Psychiatrist into a full embrace.

Will didn´t worry about it, Frederick was so drunk he probably wouldn´t remember anything of this in the morning.

The Profiler wasn´t able to summon the strength to push the other man away, the warmth of the unfamiliar body just felt too good.

 

“I’m not a psychopath.. I didn´t hurt anyone…”, Frederick whimpered, crawling more and more under the blanket and into Will’s arms.

“I know..”, Will whispered in return.

He heard the call in the radio while he had been on the way home and could imagine how it felt for Frederick to hear those words about him.

“Jack knows, too. He believes me and we are slowly building up a strategy.”, he said softly while he was running his fingers through Frederick’s hair, to calm him.

It seemed to work, because he felt the other man’s body relaxing, his breath slowly regularizing.

 

“So I'll be there when you arrive..

The sight of you will prove to me I'm still alive,

and when you take me in your arms,

and hold me tight..

I know it's gonna mean so much tonight”, Frederick mumbled the verse of the ABBA song he was listening to earlier against Will’s chest, followed by a tipsy giggle.

 

Will had no idea why Frederick suddenly felt like kind of singing this song, but the words alone made his heart beating faster.

He looked at the man in his arms, who was obviously about to doze off.

 

“You are not a killer, Frederick, and I am going to prove it..”, Will whispered while he kept stroking Frederick’s soft hair, staring into the distance until he slowly drifted into sleep.

 

 

***


End file.
